So, you’ve gone through all the steps to legally divorce, but now you don’t have the means to physically separate and live in different households?
This is common for a lot of couples today and I’m finding myself in sessions helping them navigate through how to actually continue to emotionally and physically go through the healing process of divorcing and yet still live together.
This can be very confusing for you and your children.
So, what are some divorce tips on how to handle this?
You can communicate to your kids clearly, that although you may still be living together, you are living together as a divorced couple.
You can explain that financially you’ve built your lives on a two-parent income, and it will take some time to separate financially. This way, they have an understanding why you are still living together.
Until you are financially able to live apart, you will be co-parenting and living like financial roommates.
Another one of my divorce tips is for you and your children to to set up a parenting calendar so your kids know who the go-to parent is for that day. Then, even though you may be physical around, do your best to stay out of the way of the parent that is actively parenting that day.
This doesn’t mean that you have to stay out of the house 100% of the time or hide out in a cubby hole, but on the other parents day, you do need to redirect your children if at all possible.
Remind them that this is their father’s day or their mother’s day and that the drive to practice or to pick up first goes to the parent of that day, and as backup, you can be the next parental figure that they come to.
Sleep in separate quarters. You cannot sleep together in the same bed and, for yourselves and for your children, be communicating that you are divorcing. That is just too emotionally complicated for everyone.
Have separate quarters, and do not show physical affection to your ex.
This does not mean don’t be kind and respectful, but you’re not going to be showing physical affection like you would if you were married.
Realize that this is a unique situation and it is temporary.
Practicing these divorce tips with your family and with your ex will provide healthy, post-divorce boundaries.
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Founder of Empowering Children of Divorce
Ambassador of Children and Divorce, HowToLiveOnPurpose.com
P.S. Is living with your ex leaving you feeling tired, stressed out and in a constant state of overwhelm?
If you are ready for a change, this could be just what you need right now!
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