What are the Effects of Divorce on Children’s Events?
Does the constant stream of events, birthdays, school events, parties, holidays and such seem endless to you?
How does the idea of attending those events with the other parent make you feel?
No matter what time of year you are reading this, if you have children, you are busy. That’s part of the joy of experiencing life with children, but when you need to navigate all those gatherings in the midst of a divorce or separation, the situation becomes more delicate.
Question: How quickly do we begin to separate and have our children divide up their days and time with us?
Ideally, before the legal separation, parents need to balance out their children’s upcoming social, spiritual and holidays schedules etc.
When parents attend children’s events, it’s important to remember (it’s all about them).
These are special days to them, whether it’s a music recital, an athletic event or as big as a graduation, their needs and wants should be heard, acknowledged and honored as much as possible.
Likewise, when it is your special day as a parent, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Birthday etc, you will want to be honored in the same way with the presence of your children.
When you attend events with the other parent, remember to be in the space and be fully present. No, you don’t have to sit together if you don’t want to, but don’t make the child be distracted and concerned about where you are, if you are ok or not, or if you showed up.
So for example: sit a few rows back from the other parent so that when your child looks out and smiles at you for recognition, they clearly see both parents smiling back.
The journey of divorce is difficult enough on children. Supporting them in their special moments is very important and something parents have complete control over.
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Support System Inc.