Have you made some poor choices and now wonder… how do I undo them so I don’t screw up my children or cause this divorce to be even more harmful?
Just as you learned when you were younger, when you make some poor choices, the goal is to learn from them and not repeat them. This is exactly what you want to practice as you are going through divorce.
As a Psychologist many patients ask me the question… “How does divorce affect children?”
The quick answer is...
- Let your child know when you have made an error that you know has affected them.
- Apologize sincerely to your child, and let them know what you will do differently.
These steps are the same steps that you would want your child to do if they made a poor decision.
So for example… Let’s say last night you were talking loudly to your sister-in-law on the phone about your ex in an angry and negative way and you know your child overheard some of the impactual things that you said.
You would go to your child and say something like…
“I’m sorry. I know I was talking to Aunt Karen loudly and you heard me say some unkind things about your father. I was wrong to do that and you have the right to be protected and not hear any negative things about your father or your mother and I am truly sorry. Next time I’m having a conversation I will not say harmful or negative things about your father.”
By doing this process and owning your errors, you give your child permission to talk to you about other times where they might have felt violated, harmed, or injured.
In the navigation of divorce you will have opportunities to undo and your your child will appreciate your openness.
Divorce obviously puts stress on your family. Utilize these tips I’ve shared with you to ensure that both you and your children realize how valuable you are.
You can experience that at a whole new level by taking the challenge below…
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Founder of Empowering Children Of Divorce
P.S. Do you love challenges? What about Secret Missions?