Ever find yourself wanting to share some ugly truth about your ex with your children?
Well don’t! This is a moment that many of you may experience but they are not thoughts to share with others, especially your children.
You might feel embarrassed or shameful that you even have these thoughts of wanting to make a negative statement toward your ex with your child, but this experience is common. The trick is to recognize the thought and filter.
Your children mirror you. They can have your looks, your laughter, your mannerisms, and at moments they will remind you not only of yourself but also of your ex.
Depending on where you are in the divorce process, this can set off triggers that can be strong, sometimes uncomfortable, and even negative. You could be tempted to blurt out and tell your children divorce secrets about your ex that are better left untold.
However, you are empowered, you are in control and you take the high road. You have all kinds of thoughts throughout the day both positive and negative. The secret is in how you react to them.
Each time a thought like this is triggered, take a nanosecond and filter. “Choose” not to share, react, or dump any negative comment on your child about your ex. It’s by filtering your thoughts that you are able to do this.
You may notice this experience more frequently early in your divorce. Then as time goes on… you get to a more accepting place of peace an it will lessen.
Then you will be able to look at your child and not experience strong reactions to triggers about your ex.
Until that time comes… honor your child and your relationship with your ex and never share some ugly truths that you may have. Only share good and love.
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Support System Inc.
P.S. My “Healing Broken Families – 12 Simple Steps To Help You Navigate Through Divorce” program is now available. Finally, there’s a way for you to stop wasting time and instantly get answers to burning questions on children divorce topics. You’ll want to check it out here.