Minimizing Change For Your Children During Divorce
Hello parents, this is Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill and I wanted to talk about minimizing change during the first 90 days to one year after breaking the news of divorce.
This is an important transition period. During this time, as much as possible, you want to maintain some consistency in your routines, habits and behaviors.
Amongst all the uncertainty, you want to try to maintain habits that are known to be part of what was the normal day to day family routine. In doing this, you will provide a sense of stability for you, your children and your family.
So for example, in regards to the house, apartment or condo you’ve been living in with your kids, continue to try to stay there as much as you can if feasible.
If your kids have been involved in dance, soccer, basketball, Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts for example.
Try to keep them active in their same teams or troops and participating in those activities just like they have normally done over the last season or year.
If you and your partner are attending dances and school events that your children will be participating in, work at allowing them to be comfortable at those. Support them in participating in the activities that they have known for years and grown familiar with.
When it comes to holidays, traditions or rituals, look to maintain consistency in that area as well.
For example if every Halloween you went to Grandma’s or Grandpa’s house to go Trick-or-Treating because they had a great neighborhood, then take them to that same location and with the same family members. This will allow them to be with familiar family and friends in an activity that they have anticipated and enjoyed in the past.
Try to maintain consistency even in something as simple as Thursday night being your TV night. If that’s when your favorite movies or sitcoms run, do what you can to be there with your children to watch those sitcoms and eat popcorn as you have done every other Thursday night in the past.
By doing these types of things, you will provide comfort not only for your kids, but for yourself too.
These are the types of things that can provide the “known” during a time of “unknowns”.
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Support System Inc.