During a divorce, there are a lot of to-do’s and there is a lot of juggling taking place. There can also be a lot of heaviness metaphorically in the physical house as well as in the emotional houses of both parents and children.
Carrying that kind of weight on your shoulders and on your hearts can be a very heavy burden. You need to remind yourself often; “You know what, we need to take a break. We need to have some fun.”
Making time to have fun for both yourself and your children is very important.
You do this by role modeling.
For example: Have a night called “Tornado Night” where you’re not going to do any housework, you’re not going to cook any meals, and you’re going to eat whatever you want from the cupboards or order carry-out.
On this night, everyone gets to simply do whatever they want, whether it’s board games, video games, movies, reading magazines or having a friend over. You just declare it a fun night!
When you do this with your children they will see that you are embracing it, and that it’s okay to have laughter, have friends over, and just to be silly rather than it always being kind of somber.
For all of you, it’s a break from deep discussions surrounding the divorce. Yes, there are times for deep conversations with your children about the divorce but there also needs to be time for light shoulders, laughter and fun.
Focus on you. Take some time out for yourself to have some fun. Go to a movie or just have a fun conversation with the neighbor or a friend.
Focus on your children. Make sure that your kids are making time to just have fun, or help them mark off time so that they’re having fun times with their friends and both of their parents.
Remember, you’re the number one role model for your children. They will see, hear and model the way you deal with this transition of divorce.
So take breaks to have some fun during the weeks and months ahead in this chapter of your lives. It will lighten the load for both yourself and for your children:)
Dr. SueAnne Magyar-Hill
Support System Inc.