Children Of Divorced Families

Why Do Children Of Divorced Families Blame Themselves?

Children will often blame themselves for the divorce.

I know parents would never consciously blame their child for the divorce… So why is it that so many children of divorced families blame themselves for their mother and father splitting up?

I’ve had the opportunity to talk to many kids over the past few decades in my practice and can offer you some insight to this question.

Kids’ ears are like radar. Although it may seem like they are not listening to you or have selective hearing, they are very tuned in. They pick up on what parents are saying and will form a story around that.

It will become their story, and unless you are aware of what their story is you can only guess. You may be surprised to discover that their story is nothing like your story. Their story might be [...]

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Divorce Tips

What Are Some Divorce Tips For Staying Connected With My Children?

Is navigating through a divorce finding you feeling exhausted, down, or even depressed?

Well, you need to remember to make time to have fun with your kids and enjoy the days for yourself, as well.

For weeks and months, you’ve been working your very best to help your children navigate through the changes in the family and be supportive of all the relationships within the family.

All of this can be very mind intensive and emotionally draining, and yet, every day is meant to be enjoyed. So some divorce tips will help to make sure that for yourself and for your children, you are putting fun and pleasure into your days. [...]

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Children Of Divorced Families

Do Children Of Divorced Families Really Understand Custody?

How do you explain to your children the legal system when you’re still probably trying to figure it out yourself?

For children of divorced families this can be difficult to understand, but sometimes you need to let them know that there is a third party helping to determine decisions on behalf of the family such as judges and lawyers.

By letting them know that there are professionals out there that are hired and are doing a legal job to help keep things fair in helping parents with guidelines is important. Rather than children wondering why things can’t just be determined by them or by their parents.

Putting it on a third party and letting them know that there are lawyers and judges involved and there are rules that as a family you have to abide by is very important.

To help them understand [...]

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Effects Of Divorce On Children

Is One Of The Effects Of Divorce On Children Causing Them To Avoid Your Ex?

Sometimes the effects of divorce on children will cause them to not want to have involvement with their non-custodial parent.

You need to encourage your child and support this relationship with the other parent.

Children react in many different ways when it’s time to go see the other parent.

You may find your child has a habit of not feeling well on the days that they’re supposed to have parenting time with your ex.

You many even hear them come up with creative and interesting reasons why they shouldn’t go like… “The other parent’s house is too cold.” or “They don’t have the snacks I like.”

To them, one excuse is as good as another.

Here are some things you can do. [...]

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Children In The Middle

Do You Ever Wake Up And Find Your Children In The Middle Of Your Bed?

Parents, this is not an unusual behavior for children of many ages when parents have divorced.

Whether young or teenagers, many of my clients come into sessions beating themselves up and feeling bad that their child has regressed, and that they can’t seem to get them out of their bed.

Don’t fret and don’t beat yourself up. Regressions are normal during emotionally difficult times.

Your child is just simply seeking comfort with you.

This can occur for the custodial parent and also the non-custodial parent when the child is with them during the week or weekends.

So, do you ever wake up and find children in the middle of your bed?

What’s a parent to do? [...]

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Divorce Tips

What Are Some Divorce Tips For When A Parent Moves Out?

I want to talk about children of divorced families that share some common fears when a parent moves out and what they tend to be.

Many children young and old have fear of their parents separating. Beyond that, their next most common fear is wondering how their life is going to change.

When a parent moves out, questions asked from children tend to center around day to day activities and events.

So here are some divorce tips for when a parent moves out [...]

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How Does Divorce Affect Children

How Does Divorce Affect Children When They Catch You?

Hi, I want to bring up a question that is not asked of me very often, but is one that I feel that is very important to talk about. It does come up however in many relationships if there’s a divorce and needs to be brought to the surface and discussed.

This question is: Can I have a new boyfriend or girlfriend spend the night if the kids are already sleeping?

And the answer is [...]

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Divorce Advice

Divorce Advice: When Can I Introduce My Child To My New Boyfriend Or Girlfriend?

This is a great question I am asked often in my practice and and without giving very specific boundaries, I’m going to give you some ideas to consider.

So here is some divorce advice on when you can introduce your child to your new boyfriend or girlfriend.

* Let some seasons pass.
* Make sure your child is ready.
* Time and place the meeting.
* Control who will be there.
* Don’t rush it.

Firstly, you don’t want to… [...]

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Divorce Tips: When Can I Date Again?

Divorce Tips: When Can I Date Again?

Once you and your partner are no longer married, it may be time to consider dating and networking again.

Here are some divorce tips for healthy boundaries as it relates to your children. [...]

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Effects Of Divorce On Children

Effects Of Divorce On Children: When Should I Seek Help?

When is it time to seek professional help when a family is going through a divorce?

Divorce for the whole family is one of life’s most major transitional points. Getting counseling for an individual and the family to discuss the changes that are occurring and the feelings that are being experienced is important.

Just talking in a neutral place with a professional who listens with unconditional regard can be very healing and insightful. This will help minimize the effects of divorce on children. [...]

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